Future Kids...Gulp

Originally Written April 28, 2011

It's  a little strange addressing this “kids” so I’ll just leave off the header for now. Maybe in a few years I’ll be able to do it, maybe in a few months, but right now I just don’t want to think about being preggers and having babies that’ll turn into toddlers that’ll poop and then be at prom and all that scary growing-up nonsense.

I suppose I should get over that considering I’m writing this for you guys. But I’m only nineteen and I don’t want to be a mom yet. I’m writing this because I think it’s important to have perspective. In 12, 15 years when you guys are actually alive I want to be able to look back and see what I was thinking now and remember what it was like to be a teenager. I’ve done this my whole life—it’s not new. Rereading my old diaries in one of my favorite experiences; maybe when you’re old enough I’ll let you guys look at them. I encourage you guys to keep a diary. Even if you think it’s mundane and boring, ten years from now you won’t think that. Some of the stuff you’ll write down will be pretty insightful and you’ll be amazed you thought of that at your age. Never underestimate yourself. And don’t let me or anyone else either. Kids are way smarter than adults give them credit for. You guys have brains that work in magical ways; you make leaps that we think impossible. I wish I could have a brain like yours.

But I digress. Back to the point. I’m going to try and write to you everyday. It’ll be hard and I know now that I’m going to fail, but I’m running out of time, and it’s important I get this all down on paper. I want you to know that I remember what it was like to be your age. I’m already nineteen and it’s tough to think like a kid. I find myself judging children instead of empathizing with them. I have to force myself back into that seven-year-old mindset to remember what it felt like to be shy and nervous to raise my hand in class because I was scared to get the answer wrong even though I knew I was right, or to feel that emotion swell in my chest when I thought about Harry Potter and how he was undoubtedly the love of my life even though I knew he wasn’t and could never be real. I want you guys to know that I know what that feels like. For the most part, I still can. But I want to make sure that I can remember forever.
This is rambling. Later letters will be more focused. I’ll try to make each letter have a point or something like that. There will be life lessons, laughs, stories from my life that you should probably never know. But I’ll write them for you.

Much Love,

Giuliana (Your future mom? Eek.)